People were let go or moving on to bigger and better jobs this season, and so, schedules had to be rearranged for everyone. It was a somewhat upsetting surprise, but we all bounced back. Well, most of us. When I told my mom I wasn't off until the 27th of December instead of the 26th, I saw her eyes droop and brows furrow in concern. Eventually, she became a good sport about the idea, comforting me that her and the family would wait to exchange gifts and celebrate until I came home. I feel really blessed that they'd do that for me. If my brother was the one to delay my Christmas by 2 days I'd probably be miffed at him. However, I'd rather have it with him 2 days late than not have it with him at all....
Well, since I've been pretty much alone this Christmas season, I've been doing things to get myself into the spirit! I don't mean to sound sad, because even though I have been on my own this December, it's been a pretty wonderful time. Now that I'm out of school, I've actually had TIME to get into the holiday spirit. I've watched a plethora of Christmas movies that I love. I'm not kidding...I'm going to rattle off as many as I can remember.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, The Santa Clause, A Christmas Carol (2001), Charlie Brown's Christmas, Pluto's Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life, Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol, Babes in Toyland, All Dogs Christmas Carol, Frosty the Snowman, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and A Muppets Christmas Carol (2x.)
I'd NEVER get to watch all of these movies when I was still trying to piece together papers for my English classes! I've been lucky to find some of these on YouTube in sections or on instant NetFlix or Hulu. I was unsuccessful at finding The Grinch, which still makes me feel unsatisfied. That movie is a real staple in my prep for Christmas. I guess I'll have to dust off the VHS I have in one of the forgotten cabinets at home.
Another spirit booster really is living within the city itself. It's unavoidable. Decorations and lights are lit from within the stores lining Times Square, luring customers in with their soft glow, illuminating signs of so-called great sales.
One thing that truly made me miss home was not having a Christmas tree in my apartment. At home, there'd be nights I'd sit on my couch in the living room, the house lights off, reveling in the ever-changing colors intertwined within our hand-picked evergreen. The angel atop, protecting our tree and everything it stands for, over-shadowed the ornaments, with it's soft on-again-off-again light. I think it's one of the most beautiful mixtures of man and nature ever created, and for some reason, it always makes my limbs, my chest, and my shoulders, all feel lighter. At any rate, my mom, having the mom-sense tingling, gave me a small, fake Christmas tree that has been within her family for 30 years. It was soon NYC bound, a lovely sight to see. Across the street from me is a department store that literally has everything I could have imagined. I bought some decorations to spruce up my Charlie Brown tree. It's just what I needed to make it really feel like Christmas. Here, take a gander!
Although I did work today, on Christmas Eve, in actuality it was a very rewarding day. I only had to work from 12-5 and I was a Greeter. I feel it was the best job I could have asked for, because the whole day I was able to wish people a Merry Christmas! I mean, there were some technicalities thrown in there, where some people were rejected admission because we were no longer accepting walk-ins, but hey- it's Christmas! There's no reason to be unhappy, even if you can't get a table! But in all seriousness, it was nice to spread some holiday cheer where...it was...spread...able? My cheeks actually hurt from smiling so much. And I get to do it all day tomorrow, on actual Christmas. I should probably buy a Santa Hat. I mean, they sell em all over the street. They probably aren't more than 5 bucks...
***
Well, today, since I had some time to kill, I figured I'd see the tree. You know what I'm talkin' about when I say THE tree right? Only the biggest Christmas Tree in the nation? It's in Rockefeller Center and I have yet to see it first hand. Although it was getting windier, my smile never ceased as I trekked along to see the beacon of light. I bought myself some hot chocolate and headed over to 50th street. I took some pictures along the way, capturing the giant, red christmas ornaments and the small trees, lit with gold and silver bulbs covering every inch of bark. I finally turned a bend, and there it was. I tried to count the stories its branches reached, and I believe it was 12. It was a beautiful sight to behold. I snapped a couple of shots of it's majestic size and then just sat on a bench and watched it. I felt like I was back in my living room, except it was colder, the surface was harder, and there were a lot of bundled up strangers, some speaking in tongues.
I observed those strangers. All were with family. Some of the families were taking pictures, hugging and smiling with one another. Other families, like the family sitting next to me, seemed to be frustrated, unsure what to do next. A complete humbug is the proper term. A boy around my age was whining to his mom and complaining that he didn't want to be there. I wanted to give that boy a look of havoc. You're with your family, bud, and you're looking upon the largest Christmas Tree you've ever seen with your naked eye, and instead of enjoying it you're being a little sour-puss? Grow-the-heck UP! But of course, I didn't even acknowledge their presence. Instead I wrote in my journal and just sat, enjoying my hot chocolate and watching the tree. I felt like Kevin McCallister from Home Alone 2, where on Christmas Eve he is looking up at that same tree, wishing he could see his family one last time. It was then I felt myself wishing my mom or brother or dad were there on that bench with me. Although we can sometimes lose patience with one another, it would have been nice to share this experience with one of them.
Next thing I know, this boy comes up to me and asks if there are any reasonably priced ice skating rinks around the area. I told him of the one 50ft away from him and the one in Bryant Park, but neither were considered cheap. I was being friendly and my guard was down. It's Christmas after all.
That's when he introduced himself and said to me, "Wow, you're really cute. We would have some pretty hot babies."
And my moment of solitude, watching the lights glimmer while I reflected on all that I should be thankful for? Gone. He wasn't a bad kid, but he sat down next to me while I was writing. I felt like he intruded upon my Christmas Eve without an invitation. He's a fitness trainer, so he felt my "guns," asked if I partied, smoked pot, drank a lot, if I've ever dated a younger guy (like himself) and if I've ever cheated on a boyfriend. Then he preceded to tell me how he's hooked up with a lot of girls and then afterwards they'd tell him they're in a relationship. "It's not that I'm saying all girls cheat," apparently he's just experienced a lot of them cheating, with him. Then he went on how he liked the older, mature girls, like myself. He thought I was at least 24, and when I corrected him at my actual age, a prime 22, he seemed shocked.
At any rate, personal questions were being asked and information was being volunteered that I didn't want to deal with on Christmas Eve. I felt myself getting more and more distant. My answers became shorter and I began to notice every small break between our sentences. Instead of listening to him, I found myself pondering an excuse to leave. I wanted to get to back to my apartment where I could heat up some left overs and watch another round of Muppets Christmas Carol before I crashed into sleepy land. At the end of it, he said we should hang some time. My response was a, "Maybe." That word didn't sit too well with him. He asked for my number, and I told him that I wasn't looking to get involved with anyone right now. He insisted, claiming he didn't want to either. He suggested we could go ice-skating or go for a drink, nothing fancy. I gave in, not wanting to argue on Christmas. I went to leave, sticking out my hand, but he grabbed my shoulders and gave me a hug. I tell ya...when you want to be alone, you can't! And when you can't bare to be alone no one is around! Ya just can't win!
I'm sorry for the length of this. I realize it's unnecessarily long, but I did want to end on a positive, thought-provoking note. While at work, I was getting a drink from the soda holster by the bar. The bartender, whose name escapes me at the moment, was there, and so I asked him if he was off tomorrow for Christmas. His response was no, he was not off, so he wouldn't be celebrating it this year. My face frowned automatically, feeling sorry for him. He shook off my sympathy, telling me that in this business, you can't be so hooked up on specific days. He said, everyday should be like Christmas, where you appreciate the ones you love, show kindness to others, and extend a helping hand to those in need. It shouldn't be solely one day of the year. He told me, that when one DOES have off, then you should try to see family and friends, spending those days with loved ones. Those days you have off should be well spent, and appreciated. And, in all honesty, that really hit home. Although I really am an enthusiast for celebrating holidays on the given day, these were enlightening words. I guess, even though I am working, I will have to find the holiday spirit and spread it with those I'm working with and with those I'm greeting tomorrow. The day is going to happen if I'm with my family or not, so I might as well enjoy it to the best of my ability!
Now, these words coincide with a song from the one and only, MUPPETS CHRISTMAS CAROL!
xoxo
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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